Adjusting expectations...

Do you ever hold out hope for something? Think that things will change when you know that they really never will? Why do I keep expecting things to be different, why do I deny reality? They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. In that case, I am totally insane, especially when it comes to my family! I keep thinking that somehow things will be different, that my family will be people other than they are, that they will change. Truth is, I can't change anyone, and I certainly can't wait around hoping they will change themselves. I keep looking to them for the love, support, and encouragement that I need in life. Here is where it gets crazy though...there are many people out there in my world that I know beyond a doubt will be there for me. They will offer me love, support, and encouragement...IF I would only reach out to them. Instead, I somehow believe that if the people in the world who are supposed to provide that don't, then somehow I must not deserve it. I must really be bad. I am not worth people putting effort into. Crazy, I know, but that is how my warped thinking starts to get me into trouble. I seek what I cannot have, yet run from what is waiting for me, if only I would turn and see it, reach for it, and embrace it. For all of you who want to be there for me, I am sorry that I shut you out. I know it doesn't make sense, but I want to thank you for understanding that it is a struggle I have, and I know when I do turn towards you, you will be there, thinking "It's about time!"

A visit to Seoul...

Ok...I bought a ticket to Seoul tonight. I leave in one week, a few hours less than one week...I head out next Saturday morning at 9am, arrive Sunday at 5:30pm on the 28th. I am staying until Monday the 5th of November...I fly back at 8:10pm and arrive in Dallas at 9:40pm the same day. Time zones are funny like that...
I am excited and scared at the same time. What if I like it there and decide to move? Am I really considering living on the other side of the world? Am I crazy?
This could be the biggest adventure of my life...some of my best memories...some of my best opportunities...too big to pass up, right?
It won't be easy. It will be a huge adjustment, there will be hard times, scary times. I will feel alone at times, very frustrated at times, and like I would do anything for Chicken Express at times. :)

I'm blogging...

Ok, so why am I just now jumping on board with blogging? My friends have had blogs for years and I have always thought they were so great. I have been scared to take the leap fearing some huge typo and the world laughing...actually, just been a bit lazy.
For anyone who knows me, you know that the last two years have been quite a journey with many twists and turns. Life is back on track, I know, finally, right? I am going back to work...thank goodness! I am going to be moving...some options are Dallas, NYC, DC, and Seoul.
I feel confident that I have reached my tipping point...life only gets better.